approx. 4 minute read
The stain was on my hands. The fruit has been mostly delicious, but not quite perfect. The stain, in truth, has been washed away by the blood of Jesus, but we still have the memories.
My grown-up son said he didn't like to hike with us (his dad and me) when he was growing up because all we did was fuss............. Before that, on other days, he made comments to the effect of himself being shocked that his dad and I ever, "got together," (because we fussed so much).
Too late to do over those parts now.
How did it happen? How did I try so very hard to make his family, our family, my family here, so precious and special, and earn those comments from him?
Well sometimes the "fussing," was me defending my son from impatient reactions from a stressed father. I "fussed" to try and teach my husband what was normal toddler crankiness, and to protect my son. I also "fussed," trying to make other things perfect................... like you should KNOW that when I ask you to get ice-cream for the root-beer floats (southern U.S.A. thing maybe) for our son's COWBOY party of course I mean VANILLA, and, "How could you have bought COOKIES-N-CREAM?"
And, "How is it fair that you are the one that uses ice in drinks most often, but you NEVER fill the ice-trays with water......"
And, "What? It's my day off and you expect me to give YOU, who I live with and see all the time, my top priority in time?"
I really just wanted a good life for us all, and sometimes I "fussed" over stupid stuff. Somethings were valid topics. Sometimes my position was valid and worthy. Most fusses were stupid, and on most issues I should have kept my mouth shut.
Thank God, over the YEARS my husband grew in patience, and we both grew in wisdom.
I seem to be continuing the generational trend of my linage to get better as I get older, even in my marriage. I am really sorry that I was not better..... that my son would make comments about how his family was filled with peace and love.
All things are relative. Poor guy. Maybe he remembers the "fusses" so much because they contrasted so greatly, with the general love, peace, and stability that he benefited from generally. I hope so, but never-mind........... it doesn't change what he said, and how he feels or remembers. I believe in being respectful of our children's opinions and feelings.
I try to console myself. Doesn't it mean that I did something right, the fact that he made good grades in school, was well behaved in school, and is doing well in university, and that he smiles, and likes to visit?? Oh, and by God's grace we did not divorce. His parents are still together and after 11 years of fussing over stupid stuff, a 9 month separation, and 8 years of more practice, WE ARE BETTER NOW, and still together !!
This is the challenge of the empty nest phase.
Job is largely done. Time to live with the results or the evaluations.
When he makes those comments, I don't argue. What would it profit? I usually pat his back, rub his back and apologize. (Hey maybe that's why he says such things?😏 )
Hopefully you can look back and feel proud and grateful for your accomplishment in raising your child or children.
I still have one at home. She naturally reflects differently on her home of origin.
I suppose it is all part of the human journey.
Young mothers, be careful. Our time with our children under our roof is rather fleeting.
Hopefully we will have more years to make good memories, LOVE them and SUPPORT them with encouragement and gentle guidance. All of the time is priceless and precious. Please don't fuss over stupid stuff. I am hopeful that my grandchildren will see less of that, and if my son and daughter-in-law, or my daughter and future son-in-law, do better than my husband and I in our marriage, "Praise GOD!! Thank you Father ♡♡♡!"
...in quietness and confidence shall you be your strength
I desire that God would use my mistakes and vulnerability here, to spread SONSHINE. May wisdom and truth light your path. Blessings in Christ,
Grandma Mary Martha 💖