Saturday, August 12, 2017

Be a Living, Loving Tribute

I went to a funeral not to long ago, of someone who had been special in my life.......parent of a best friend, whom I had very specific, very good memories of.  I remembered this man as vital and active (about the age that I am now).  I saw him build a shrimp boat with his own hands.  I saw him build a house for his daughter, with his own hands.  He offered to build me a house, and he would have, if I gave him the word.

Above with his daughter ♡♡

Above, on a shrimp boat that HE BUILT and worked on.

Above, smiling with their granddaughter, in a house that HE BUILT.

Anna and I got very busy with life.  I moved away.  We had 4 babies between us.  We had to try and keep husbands happy, make ends meet, and raise kids.  We didn't often see each other's parents during this time, but frequently inquired, "How are your parents doing?"  We each knew that we were blessed to have both of our parents.  

Somehow, time flew by.  Our children (except daughter of my "advanced maternal age") are GROWN.  Our parents turned white headed, and slowed down, except in their love.  I have a LOT of white hair myself, and don't mind.  

Anyway, Mr.D.C., struggled for so long, to overcome physical challenges that had increased with age.  He fought cancer, he battled with back or pain ailments.  Living became difficult, much less building. He lost his wife (her near 87 years old) and  he lived a few more years.   His daughter and granddaughters cooperatively took turns, and pretty constantly gave in love right back to him, the way he and his wife, Mrs. D.C. had given to the family over the years.

When I gathered with family, and went to the funeral of Mr.D.C., I was not surprised, and I recognized what I saw, in his eldest granddaughter.  Sadness and grief that she had to say good-bye to her grandfather, and disgust with death, and aging.  SHE is in the prime of her life.... just graduated with her master's degree, but up close and personal she had witnessed her grandfather's last years, last months.

I could so relate to her contemplation, because I had been there.  Somewhere along life's journey, I suppose more so for us introspective philosophical types, the shift moves from self (getting mate, getting education, pursuit of the next pleasure or thrill...) to.... something bigger.......something beyond what we see.........  What we see, is an aging population, that we each are a part of, and it ends in death.  Poor D (grand-daughter named after her grandfather in fact) was disillusioned.  

She said, "What are we all doing this for...... for end in death like this?"*  It hurt her to see her grandfather suffer.  Because of the strong man that D. was, I suspect that it hurt his granddaugter(s)  more than it hurt him.

 She, my my precious D. shared a little story: 

 Even in the hospital, her grandfather, a shadow of the man I knew who built a boat, and houses, and shrimped and tug boated,  lay in that bed  with the shadow of death looming just out the doorway, and he was concerned about her and others.   He inquired, "How are you doing?  Do you need anything?  Because if you need anything, just tell me.  Don't underestimate me!  I got CONNECTIONS...!"

I have no doubt that Mr. D. would have found a way to come to the rescue for his daughter or granddaughters if any of them had need, as long as he had breath and voice.  Well, he got to live to see all three of them find loving mates.  He got to live to witness them all enjoy life while adulting.

*I answered my master's degreed little D.'s  heartfelt inquiry, with something like, "I know it hurts honey, but you know, if for no other reason we endure the hard times to encourage others, the younger generation, with our words and OUR courage, which we CAN HAVE in Christ."  I told her that I was already praying, for God to make me strong... help me be ready for what ever challenges come my way.  I want to live with bravery and grace and courage, and in God is my HOPE and expectation.  When I go through the rough times, I still want to be able to say things that comfort and inspire others, like her grandfather did.

My sweet darling D.  has some healing to do, as do her sister, and her amazing mother.  I believe they will carry these loved ones lost, in their heart, everyday for the rest of their life, like I have carried my grandparents in my heart for the last 26 years.  Her sister and her have so much joy and fun, to yet experience in this life. The wonderful adventure of motherhood....  My sweet darling D. put her life on hold, the fun part of life, in order to accomplish that master's degree, while working a full time job and taking care of her grandfather.  So much GOOD and GREAT is ahead for my amazing darling D and her sister..... 

I read somewhere, that the best way to honor the dead, is with our life. Mr. and Mrs. D.C.'s granddaughters have  a mission now,.....

ENJOY life, 
be ready to help others, but 
enjoy LIFE, and 
know that nothing would make these grandparents happier (besides being with their savior).

When you stop and think about it, our mission to live for our savior is similar.  We are to be a living, loving our savior, offering up our very life as a living sacrifice.

Everyone  who is evolving an eternal perspective, here is something I wrote, when I was weary of this life's journey, and homesick for Heaven.  May it help sooth  your sorrows of good-by, and may you be encouraged today, to live in loving tribute♡

My poem, on grief and comfort for Christians.

Blessings to you and yours.  May you know the warmth and comfort of the Sonshine.

Grandma Mary Marthađź’–


  1. Beautifully and warmly written and this write leads us to our eternal perspective which is Heaven...and how we await that beautiful place...where we will meet Jesus, our loved ones...

  2. Thank you dear sister Rita, for your kind support♡♡