Thursday, January 3, 2019

Now I See.....

Hmm.  Strange that I select a dark graphic. 
I was in a hurry!  Too
 much blogging to do, and too much housework awaits.
This is a long post, I warn you, but if you stick with me through to the end, you will know me better, and you may know yourself better as well, and you may be on the way to making new friends. (You will understand better in the end.)

I am a blogger (duh), and I am admin. in a wonderful fellowship of women online*

There in that group, one of the many dimensions used to edify the ladies is that according to schedule, a Reader Leader posts a video of herself reading the Bible.  We have very simple prescribed protocol which includes stating scripture passages and Bible version read and besides the Bible reading, we say anything else is "honey on the biscuit."

Today, Rosie Williams poured some really sweet, substantial, high quality honey on that biscuit.  Not that it is usually less so, but today her Meet Me at the Well video post really helped me GROW in perspective, peace, and vision.
Remember, I already warned you this would be long... 
Her highlighted verses were: 
Romans 8:28
Philippians 2:13
Proverbs 3:5-6
None of these verses are new to me, but she elaborated on how the verses cohesively can be applied to explain how and why, life does not always turn out the way we ourselves would imagine, think or dream or even pray, but we can TRUST GOD, to bring GOOD...

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

Looking in my Bible now, oh I just have to add the next verse as well:
Proverbs 3:7-9  Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.  It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.  Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase.
So I admit, ya'll, I didn't have it all figured out, and I was wondering, exactly what Rosie said in her video, "What next?  What do you want me to do Lord?"

I had a whole list of WANTS that were mine.  They actually were not selfish per say.  When I was in my 20's I dreamed of being a foster parent.  Before I even married, I prepared a room in my house for a foster child.  I had dreams, and I had love to give.

My students, husband, son, daughter, and others along the way became targets for this LOVE to fall on, never formally a foster parent or an adoptive parent, though almost. These posts tell more about the journey to here *

But what about now, 2019?  First born is married, and honestly rarely comes home to visit.  He's too busy.  Son of my heart whom I tried to adopt, is likewise busy and connected elsewhere.  I do get to delight to dream and prepare to welcome his first daughter, coming in a few months.  Daughter of my body, and beautiful perfect apple from this tall tree, is still here in my house, much like me, only way better...

What did I want?  I yearn to have my sons visit more.  I yearn to have more time with my grand-children, or Bonnie's children, or my parents.  But my daughter's schedule and involvements seem to yet tie me here.

Ugh, blogging (delight) and laundry and housework (not my delight) , and taxi-ing my daughter  to and from sports functions and practices, and her two jobs, and social dates and MY JOB.... Not a lot of time for my dreams, my Bonnie ministry or visiting anybody.  A bit of a bummer, but NOT.

I am so blessed.

Rosie's Meet Me at the Well, post helped me rejoice in the value and blessing, in just doing what I know is right- for the time being, leaving some dreams boxed and on the shelf, and being support staff in my daughter's life.

Did you read the posts which tell about how she came to our family?  The story and prayer that led to her conception? (one of the incorporated links) 

Well she is the JOY and WHY that will delight to stay here and do the homemaking and the taxi-ing, my other dreams abandoned for now.  All in God's hands.

I am so grateful for my daughter and how the Holy Spirit has grown inside of her, and the sisterhood that I have with this exquisite gift.

Look, when she re-did her room this past summer vacation, she created this devotional space, where she meets with God in prayer and Bible reading every morning.  She is a living, active, and involved witness for Christ in her school.  In supporting her, I am support staff of a ministry really. 

 I am grateful.  Really this is one of those dreams beyond what I could dream or imagine.  Here I was wanting to go beyond my walls and be able to give more, be more involved in the foster/adopt realm, and God gave me this exquisite daughter who will still benefit from a wise, strong, loving, gracious, supportive mother.  OH GOD help me to be all of that for her.

I have my blog ministries, and I have my home, husband, and my daughter.  Those are the purposes where I shall work my steps for His glory.  No doubt this path shall change up ahead.  Soon the time will come when I can't visit with and enjoy my daughter"s company to and from her jobs, because soon will come the day when she WANTS TO DRIVE HERSELF.  Then will be the time when God may open up new doors and allow me to get some of my other dreams off the shelf.

Maybe I will never get those dreams off the shelf.  That is OK too.  All that really matters is that I walk with God, and He directs my steps in the life path He has given me.

For the new year and always, may I NOT WORRY about being wise or accomplished in my own eyes, dreams or perspective, but may I seek His direction, and wisdom above my own dreams, and may I  depart from evil, and seek His GOODNESS and ways, to be used by Him where HE directs my steps.  He created my daughter.  He has richly blessed me.  When times are good, or times seem bad, I TRUST my Father, and I am GRATEFUL for my path with Jesus,
(what happens often)
doing dishes,
dealing with laundry,
taxi-ing my daughter,
time with my husband,
working at the school,
(what happens less often)
pouring into my grown children,
or my grand-children,
or Bonnie's children,
I want to be LOVING,
and a representation of Him. 

So up there, I said that you might make friends if you stayed with me through the end?  

If you are Christian female, you are invited to join our closed facebook group where the Meet Me at the Well, Bible reading videos happen and so much more, for kingdom purposes!!

Thanks for visiting!  There is a place below where you may  comment or share the post or blog in a social media place to help spread the Sonshine.  May your face be warmed and comforted by the light of the Son.


  1. Tammy, you are so right. I've often struggled with those exact same feelings. Wanting to follow a life-long dream but the circumstances never quite seem to line up. Like you, I have only in recent years begun to learn that contentment for where God has placed me. As Rosie said, trusting Him even when His answer to prayers look NOTHING like what you wanted. I love that you are able to focus on the blessings that are right in front of you. I also taxi my 17 year old daughter every where and was just thinking a few weeks ago how happy I will be to be rid of that responsibility. Reading your post and hearing you say that one day you won't be able to enjoy your daughter's company, really struck a cord with me. I hadn't really thought about it like that. I appreciate you and Rosie for your insights and wisdom. Thank you for the love that you share through your ministries!

  2. You are such a beautiful Sister in Christ! When you said, "I do get to delight to dream and prepare to welcome his first daughter, coming in a few months." I thought wow because 'Delight' was my word in 2018 and 'Dream' is my word for this year, and I never saw them put together like that. ❤❤❤