Friday, November 17, 2017

Life is Not Fair. Now is a Good Time to Get Used to it!

3.5 minute read
"It's NOT FAIR!" Anna shrieked, as she slung herself across her bed.  "Every time I am talking in class, Mrs. Vudu calls my name out, and she NEVER calls Tommy's name, and he talks all the time...."

"I understand you're frustrated," said Auntie Em, as she patted Annie's back and tried to be consoling.  (She thought she knew this Tommy of whom her niece spoke.)  "I would be frustrated to.  But you know what Honey?  Getting mad really doesn't do any good here.  Do you know what my mom said to me once upon a time when I had a similar complaint about a teacher?  My mom said to me,  'Life's not fair, now's a good time to get used to it.'  We need to learn how to pick our battles in life, dear.  When is it that you were talking, and got your name called?"

"When we were supposed to be writing our paper...." Annie sheepishly offered.

"Well the important thing here is not that Mrs. Vudicht  called your name, but it is that you were talking when you should have been working on your paper."

"I was WORKING ON MY PAPER... I just had to ask Jamie-"

"E-e-e-e-e!"  Auntie Em gently chastised.  "You would not have gotten your name called out-loud if you had not been talking in that moment when you should have been silent.  It really doesn't matter to me that Tommy was talking and did not get his name called.  YOU are who I care about.  You only have to put up with Mrs. Vudicht for one year.  She is a very good teacher.  I love the projects she gets you all involved in.  I feel sure she has good reason for handling her students the way she does.

Think of it like this Honey.  If I have a boss who tells me something at my job, is it really my business or my concern what my boss does or does not say to anyone else as long as it doesn't effect me?"

"Well, no, I guess not."

Auntie Em hugged Annie closely and kissed her on top of her head.  She was growing so tall and beautiful.  Her sister would have been so proud.

"Annie, YOU are who I care about.  I love you.  Life is not fair in this world.  I am really glad that we are Heaven bound.  How about: I do my best to be happy and make Uncle Sam's meatloaf and macaroni and cheese, and you do your best to be happy, and set the table, and save your conversation with Jamie for those times when Mrs. Vudicht won't mind?"

Annie looked at her aunt and grinned.  Life had been rough, but Auntie Em's gentle love and ways sure softened the bumps and helped Annie to feel it was all going to be O.K..

This post (story above) is fiction.  I wrote it loosely based on some conversations that have happened in my house over the years. 

 I feel strongly that children need to be helped to realize that indeed life is not fair, and we do need to pick our battles.

Like the little boy who called, "Wolf!" too many times, it came to pass that his cries were ignored.

When/if I feel that I must complain, or bring forth constructive criticism, or highlight an issue that needs to be corrected, I want to be taken seriously and I want my input to be respected.  Though there is the saying, "Squeaky wheel gets the grease," that may hold some truth, "Do you want a squeaky wheel that you are always having to reapply the grease to, or do you want a sturdy, tried and true well functioning, smoothly moving wheel that quietly does the JOB?"

I know which one I want to be.  I know what I want my children to learn.

I want my children to be blessed adapters.  I don't want them thinking that the world should adapt to suit them.

Philippians 2:13-15
For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
Do all things without murmurings and disputings:
That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;

Jeremiah 16:19
O Lord, my strength, and my fortress, and my refuge in the day of affliction...

Blessed is the child that has someone who will teach how to live, by words and example.

What are the positives that you see in Auntie Em's manner of handling her upset niece?

Are there other scripture that this story brings to your mind?  Please share in the comments!!

Thank you for letting me share.
Tammy @
Grandma Mary Marthađź’™

Thanks to my Mama for sage advise when I was in 4th grade.  I still remember it.


  1. Life is not fair. That has worked to my advantage more times than I can count!

    1. Love that, Sandi! What a true and great perspective!!!!

    2. Thank you Sandi, and Lori, for dropping by and sharing a thought! You brighten my day!!

  2. I enjoyed reading this post! Loved your fictional account!

  3. Love your stories, Tammy. Life surely isn't fair - we don't think about it, but I love what Sandi shared as well. It's a good thing life isn't fair... Gentle reminders to focus on ourselves and not others is important with kids - and ourselves, too.

  4. My husband and I have taken many opportunities to help our children understand how life isn't fair. We focus on how they may feel that way but also how other children could feel that way looking at their life! In working with children who have been abused and/or neglected, they would think my children's life is a dream!! I try to help my children remember there are always people in our world who have it worse off than them. No one once why certain people have to endure hardships but we are all blessed to have a Heavenly Father who loves us dearly in all circumstances!

    1. I love, that purposeful teaching and instructing..... Thanks be to God for our opportunities, and our children........

  5. As a teacher, I appreciate that conversations like this have taken place in homes. It is often that I have to remind a student that while they may not have been the only one talking, they were the one who got caught. I do try to remember that kids are kids and that sometimes they really are talking for a purposeful reason. I try to give understanding to my students, as I feel God does to us when we make mistakes. I enjoyed the fiction piece at the beginning!

    1. Of course the principle applies in other scenarios as well, but in education, the issue does come up. I will always be grateful for my mother's wisdom, the steps up that she gave me.

  6. I love this post, choosing our battles without complaining is a great lesson we all remember through any obstacle in our life.