Wednesday, June 7, 2017

We cling to who is left, who is closest, whose arms are ready for us...

I didn't want to make an update like this. After about 50 hours of the best care we could provide, we lost two of our little beanie babies.  I don't want to give details.  We absolutely did the best we could, and we LOVED them.  We gave Navy (bean) Fussy-pants, and Pinto, the most thoughtful burial that we could.  Wrapped in a soft pink towel, and put in a small gift bag, we laid them to rest together under the shade of some coastal greenery, as were visiting family there.  Yes, we had packed our supplies like any good mommy would.  We stopped on our travels, to feed, like as if we had a human infant. We did our best.

The two that are left, Chickpea and Splitpea, happen to have been the smallest, very similar in coloring.  They cling to each other, when not being fed or tended to by their poor substitute but loving human mother(s).  We are  about 96 hours into trying to be surrogate mothers for our little beanie babies and we are hopeful.  At last feeding, they were feisty,  but it remains a very delicate situation.

(For  background, read what I didn't want to deal with, and the beanie baby update.)

The way they cling to one another, and draw comfort in their togetherness reminds me of the human journey.  It echoes of a lesson that I learned many years ago, which helps me deal with loss.

I have learned that when we lose a loved one, the hole is simply not filled by anyone else.  The hole is always there, but when we are open in heart and mind, we can find new comfort, new love, new hope, in the arms of someone else who has open arms for who we are.   Those that are living, may cling to one another, for warmth, comfort and security.  Tis God's design I truly believe.

May we grieve when we suffer loss, commit to God what was his, has always been his, and then find encouragement as we cling to our Savior whose love is unmatched, as well as those people in our lives who know us, and hold their arms open to the essence who we are.  May our arms be ready to receive, as Chickpea and Splitpea are.

We are enjoying the here and now, while looking toward eternity.

Joshua 24:15 and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Philippians 3:14
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
                               Grandma Mary Marthađź’–


  1. Oh no. How sad. I'm sorry for your loss, after having given your heart. I love your encouragement to grieve when we suffer loss. It was a hard lesson for me to learn because I'm so adept at stuffing my feelings. But Jesus grieved, God grieves, and we must learn to grieve. Otherwise we can't realise the promise that the hole will be filled.

    1. Thank you for your thoughtfulness Jennie. It feels good to be reminded that God and Jesus even grieved.

  2. Tammy, I'm sorry to hear that. We also had a beloved cat who passed away months before I gave birth to my youngest son, year 2013. We were all heart broken at that time because this cat has been part of an answered prayer. We were praying for a baby boy Year 2012 coz we've been trying to conceive for years already. Then one night we heard a cry outside the house. There was a newborn kitten, so small and delicate so my husband took it inside and gave some fresh milk. We asked everyone in the neighborhood if they own this kitten but nobody claimed it. Our little Pinket gave so much joy to our family as we wait for bigger things to happen. We didn't really want to go somewhere else at that time, all we did was to stay home and be smitten with our little angel. She's with us for 3 months until she went outside unknowingly and accidentally hit by a passing car. It was one of the terrible feelings I've ever had. She'll always be a part of our family..

    1. Kate, I love the story about how the kitten brightened your days at a special time. I am so sorry for how you lost her.

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