If you read my pages,"Who is Grandma Mary Martha" or "Want to Know More About Tammy?" then you know that ONE reason I blog, is because it is "therapy," for me. It helps my brain stay in a good place. Probably this according to God's plan and blessing.....
Right now, I am having a hard time.
My Sweet Pea has taken a turn for the worse. Don't worry about the glycerin suppository fragment, it was tiny and pretty much went partly in and came out a few times, basically massaged and lubricated that area, and he finally went pooh and went pooh. I would have been so happy and proud..... except something was different....... I have no way of knowing exactly what went wrong.
I see Split Pea acting like his siblings did before they passed away. Just now, I had to make the decision to basically force feed him with a syringe or let him be.......On the off chance that feeding him with the syringe would give him nutrition and liquid and he could/ would rebound and heal, that is what I did. Two hours later I may or may not try again, depending on how he is doing. Any improvement??
He is making whining noises and my heart is aching. He is snugly wrapped in a soft towel, the way his siblings died.
I wanted to have Sweet Pea be my buddy when my daughter goes away for university 5 years from now.
I am angry and sad about this yucky part of life. Surely you have noticed that when something dreadful happens.......... all the other "regretful" becomes MAGNIFIED? It all becomes harder to bear.
My blogging sister wrote an interesting article warning married people not to let the devil get a foothold in their marriage, and I would wish to link to that article now, if I can find it again, because this reminds me similarly........
I suppose this is the devil using sadness and disappointment to get a foothold in my life, rob me of my joy.
I am going to rebel against Satan and his wily tricks. I am praying for Sweet Pea and I am continuing to do the best that I can for him. Ultimately, that may mean letting him be, to die. I hope God provides a sweet place for him.
I am a child of the King, already bought with a price, and destined for life in paradise because of His goodness, and grace and provision. I am blessed here, and I shall seek to focus on my blessings. I will call up my gardener friend and ask if I can do garden chores for her, because I give up on my own lofty gardening endeavors. My roses are dying. The organic anti-fungal spray did not help. Half of my potatoes are withered. Perhaps the sun was too bright, and I was too busy and didn't give them enough to drink. I will stick to my ivys and succulents.
Perhaps I will ask my animal keeper friend if I can brush her donkeys. I will work in my house, go on with living, seek the comfort of my Father, and put this behind me, keeping an eternal perspective because I did not want to deal with this.... and there are many glorious blessings to enjoy today, beyond the sadness.
May eternal perspective in Christ be a comfort to you, and may your blessings be treasured today and always.
In my sadness, I found particular comfort in Rita's blog, especially about spiritual warfare and in this sweet poem. Maybe you will enjoy it also!!
Grandma Mary Martha 💖💖