Friday, June 23, 2017

An Apology

There is something that has been on my mind.  It is repentance of sorts.

I think that as I have gotten older, I am better and loving, as I better understand the path of humanity from life experience, and also the Lord has had more time to do His good work on me.  This causes me to remember a few times, when............. I did not love enough, or I did not feel enough love or consideration, for a brother or sister.

In one instance, where I lacked love, God just took my hull or skin of a seed of love, and miraculously, graciously grew a beautiful blossoming bush, for ME.  I did not deserve it.  In His gracious kindness, He grew something wonderful for me, and helped me learn to choose love again and again.  Now, love towards my  brethren, is my focused desire, and I certainly treasure it where it blooms.

In another instance, my heart is pricked, as I recall when a relative had a miscarriage, and in my youthful ignorance I made no expression of condolences or sorrow.  It seemed not a big deal to me.

SHAME ON ME !  Having since experienced pregnancy, and motherhood......... I clearly see the flaw or weakness or pure ignorance, and insensitivity that was in me.  I sincerely regret my lack of sensitivity, and failure to express love or condolences in any way.  The person I recall.........may have thought nothing of ME not reaching out.  I was not in her inner circle.  Maybe she never wondered why Tammy didn't show any care.

Perhaps it was not unlike little sister neglecting to drop her ball and jacks, to run over and express regret or concern at news that big sister off at university just got her heart broken by looser boyfriend.

ONLY since I matured, and experienced pregnancy and motherhood.... have I felt badly about that  insensitivity on my part many times.

"God give me the words from now on!!  May I never be insensitive to a hurting or needy brother or sister.  Lord USE me to love, and heal hearts.  Use me to share your word and your truth."

Honestly in  these scenarios I feel that to let old dogs lie undisturbed is the right thing to do, to spare  pain, but may I live with love and fervor to not repeat these mistakes again. 

 "With your help Lord." 
"Please hug, and bless, my brother and sister, who I let down, and help me to be better at representing the love of Jesus Christ, in the future."

Romans 13:8
Owe no one anything except to love one another,for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

**And may I remember, that often, lack of love and consideration from a brother or sister (towards me), may have more to do with who he or she is in that moment, rather than who I am !!

If I am a fool, may I be a fool for Christ.  Thanks for sharing some of the journey with me.
                                                   Grandma Mary Marthađź’–


  1. The older I get, the more I am convicted of the same. Thank you for your wisdom.

    1. Thank you for visiting and commenting Kate! I just visited YOU over at Softer Shade of Red ! Lots of good stuff on YOUR blog.

  2. I can definitely agree with this! I feel as we get older we become the less selfish and more in tune with the emotions of others. I have had the same sort of feelings about past situations.

    1. It feels good to be understood and validated, and I am so grateful that for the wrinkles and sags......atleast we get the compensation of more time in the potter's hands.